Heartbreak is a feeling so strong that it makes you want to crawl into bed and never wake up. It causes you to ask yourself, “What did I do wrong, do I deserve this?”
The feeling is similar to that of gray clouds on a sunny day. It’s wondering how you’re going to get through the day with this terrifying agony. It’s waking up again and again, believing that the pain will be endless. It’s grieving without death.
I think that the most devastating part about heartbreak is that the person who broke your heart continues on, and you’re forced to live a life that doesn’t include them. You fear that they’ll move forward from what you shared.
Not only do you lose that person, but also the part of yourself that existed during the relationship.
I know it feels like an everlasting pain, a hole in your chest, a void of nothingness. Heartbreak is such a long process that begins with the “numb stage”. You’re in denial, telling yourself lies in order to avoid the pain. When people ask if you’re okay, you respond, “I’m fine”. In doing so you’re not only lying to them, but yourself as well.
The next phase, the “clarity stage”, brings the worst of your emotional pain. This is when you stop lying to yourself and others. It is when you confront the pain instead of avoiding it. You just want to be able to understand the breakup and your relationship as a whole. The only way to pass the clarity stage is to fight it. The reason it brings the greatest emotional pain is because you’re finally letting all the pain come to you. After this phase, the healing starts.
The “healing stage” is next. However, this doesn’t mean things are easy. There are moments where you fall harder than ever, because you are still vulnerable from the last stage.
The best part of the healing stage is that you can begin to grow from what happened to you, and are able to open your mind to a new perspective of your relationship. Ironically, it takes sadness to know happiness.
If you are dealing with heartbreak, it is important to remember that you matter and are enough. Sometimes you may feel stuck, like you haven’t learned anything new or felt any better. I encourage you to be patient with yourself. These things take time.
Heartbreak is surmountable, but only if you fight for yourself. Acknowledge the pain and allow yourself to feel it. By doing this, seeking help and embracing yourself, you can begin to overcome a breakup.