As the LGBT+ community and their allies celebrate National Coming Out Day, people must not forget the implications of what “coming out” means, and it’s contribution to a hetero- and cis-normative culture.
National Coming Out day was celebrated on October 11th to commemorate those who have come out and people who are still working on it. “Coming Out” is the phrase used to describe when an LBGT+ person reveals they are not heterosexual or cisgender.
Coming out experiences range in many different ways. Some have supportive families and peers, but others live in unsupportive communities and are met with LGBT+ phobia.
Anti-LGBT+ practices such as conversion therapy are still legal in many states. Practices at conversion therapy include constant LGBT+ phobic rederect, physical abuse such as shock therapy, and enforcement of gender roles in order to convince somebody being LGBT+ is a choice that they do not want to make.
During the beginning of this year, the joke (and real fear) of going to conversion therapy camps created by Vice President Mike Pence, supporter of conversion therapy, was popular on social media apps like Tik Tok during Trump’s impeachment process. Right now, many non-cishet individuals are joking if Trump wins the upcoming election, they are just kidding about being LGBT+.
Because of the fear of being met without support, coming out is often described as “scary,” even amongst those who know they will be accepted by their closest communities. Knowing there are others who condemn LGBT+ people deters many from expressing who they are.
When individuals do decide to tell others, coming out advice is often along the lines of making sure that person has financial stability if in case they are kicked out of their residency by their family and to come out when it is for sure known they will not be hurt physically.
Once somebody comes out, being “out and proud” is often rightfully celebrated. However, the need for LGBT+ people to come out shows the how society still sees heterosexuality and cisgender as the default setting for every individaul– you are cishet unless you say otherwise.
People should not have to fear being kicked out of their house, forced to enter conversion therapy, or their rights being taken away just for being who they are. LGBT+ people should not have to walk on eggshells and question when they are able to safely express themselves.
By not being able to just bring home the person you love as a straight couple would or expressing the gender you are as a cisgender person would, LGBT+ is continuing to be seen as the abnormal.
There should be no fear when it comes to expressing who a person is, and coming out keeps LGBT+ hiding who their true selves until they reveal they are not the default setting. The presence of anti-LGBT+ voices and having to come out continues to show how there is progress to be made when it comes to social acceptance of LGBT+ individuals.