Author: Lily Milholm

By Lily Milholm, Staff Writer

With the beautiful and complex art of soccer comes the maddening pressure of parents. There are a million different “soccer mom” stereotypes, but all are equally insane.

There are the “hungry tiger” parents that live vicariously through their athletes. They attend all games and communicate with their children throughout the entire game. They sit on the opposite end of the field, so as to keep away from the coach. They scream when their child is fouled and cheer when their child fouls. They cheer the loudest at their athlete’s success and brag to anyone that will listen. They buy soccer gear and college recruitment information books for their kids every chance they get. They rarely praise their child after games, but always have a substantial amount of criticism. They are heavily involved in all team drama but refuse to have anything to do with planning or fundraising. These parents are often disliked by coaches and the other team parents. They make games and tournaments more stressful.

The “team mom” stereotype is opposite of the “hungry-tiger.” He or she brings snacks for the entire team during tournament weekends and reminds everyone to hydrate and get plenty of vitamin C. Not only do they micromanage their own child’s life, but every single member of the team. They lecture the athletes and parents alike about the importance of high SPF. They know the stats of all the individual players. They know who is injured and all homemade remedies. They can be found massaging the players five minutes before warm up. They fret and stress during game time about everyone’s health. Everyone appreciates all that this soccer mom does. But they drive everyone nuts.

Then there is the mom that doesn’t know anything about the game. She comes to a game every once in a while, and typically sits next to the “hungry tiger” so as to know what to cheer for. They come to field with freshly blown-out hair, beautifully manicured nails, and brand-name high heels. They keep their faces in their phones and complain about turf getting all over their car. They try to befriend the other parents and bond over the stresses of having a child athlete. This mom doesn’t get as much attention as she’s used to. None of the players or parents have much respect for her.

Soccer moms are great and make the soccer world go round. All forms are inevitable. Some are more lovable than others, but soccer wouldn’t be soccer without them.

By Lily Milholm, Staff writer

Hell is a place on earth. It’s known as passing period at C.K. McClatchy.

Everyone talks about freshman being the most obviously inexperienced, but that exact inexperience is mirrored in sophomores, juniors and seniors as well. Age doesn’t matter in the hallways of a high school. One’s consideration of hallway etiquette is the only importance.

There is no system. And the unorganized chaos that takes place in the seven minutes between classes is traumatizing.

Every high schooler walks at their preferred speed with no regard to any of the surrounding people. Fast-walkers spaz their ways down the hall, bumping into lockers and trashcans and other students, never apologizing and constantly scowling. Slow-walkers laugh with their friends, totally oblivious to the masses of people behind them trying not to trip over their heels.

No one applies the rules of the road to the hallways of a high school. People walk in the same direction on both sides of the hall. This lack of lane establishment results in a monstrous mess. Kids spew racial slurs and hypocritically hate, as they are simultaneously doing exactly what everyone else is doing.

Giant groups of friends stop in the middle of the hallway, somehow not understanding that this is not the custom, nor is it in any way logical or considerate of their fellow students. Kids shout at their friends, whether there is six inches or ten feet separation between them.

Couples walk arm-in-arm or hand-in-hand, refusing to adapt to their surroundings. So unwilling to untangle from each other, they force everyone else to navigate their way around. They frolic and laugh without care. They plaster themselves to each other in one prolonged hallway kiss. More blockage is added to the already hectic scene.

Trash cans are knocked over. People are thrown against lockers. Doors swing back on their hinges against students walking in the same direction. Paper is thrown. Food is thrown. Writing utensils are thrown. Feet are trampled. Books are dropped. Feelings are hurt. Assignments are hurriedly finished.

And the worst of all the many extremes is that nobody cares. No one cares that their oblivion causes problems. No one cares that their particular hallway manners put others in bad moods. Everyone exists solely in their own world. All unlikable teenage traits are displayed in the high school hallway. Everyone is selfish, loud, moody, irritating, unhygienic,

There really is no possible solution to the very apparent issue of the lack of hallway etiquette. No one is going to suddenly become aware, and no one is willing to adjust so as to avoid the madness and make high school passing period a better place.