There’s nothing more exciting than popping open your Twitter feed and seeing a big fat fight at the top. I’m talking a full on 140-character Super-Smash-Bros-style angry-thumbs brawl: so many Tweets you can’t even see them unless you click “ 27 more replies,” so many arguers that much of each message’s character allotment is consumed by the handles of other participants. A good old-fashioned slugfest you can only follow by scrolling all the way to the top.
Things get especially interesting when it’s your friends out there on the front lines. Of course, if your friend is in a Twitter fight you probably know about it before you open the app. You’ve probably been giving emotional support and suggesting comebacks all day.
If you’re in your buddy’s corner like that, don’t let him or her look like a fool — make ‘em sound smart. The Prospector, ever in favor of intelligent dialogue between McClatchy students (no matter where it happens), would like to help. Here are two valuable bits of wisdom to offer your friend next time it’s about to go down.
First: do some homework. Twitter debates are often political in nature, and though you can’t really tell by listening to many of today’s politicians, effective political arguments usually include actual reasoning and evidence. This is persuasive writing 101.
Even if you’re not into the whole ethos-pathos-logos thing, the quickest of research can give you a leg up on your typical online ideological adversary — it literally takes 4 seconds to type “why is Trump bad” into Google (literally 4 seconds, I tried it). The formula is painfully easy to use. To shore up your knowledge of any position you’re arguing, just type “why [insert your contention here]” and Google will do your work for you. Think vaccines cause polio? Punch in “Why vaccines cause polio” and you’re set.
Having legit facts is especially important when arguing an unpopular position. Roasting your opponent is sure to be popular with the crowd — roast Tweets always get the most favorites — but that only works if everyone agrees with you already. You have to bring your A-game if you’ve wedded yourself to a controversial idea. So definitely take the time to enter “why braids aren’t cultural appropriation” into Google.
Now, a tip for the advanced Twitter beefer: take your time. Seriously. Take some time to craft an eloquent response, a funny-yet-sophisticated response, or one of those responses that’s just a link to an article you read somewhere (“Just read it,” you type triumphantly). After all, isn’t the point of the Twitter fight to win favor with the crowd? It’s a 140 character rap battle.
But that’s all it is. Our final piece of advice? If you argue because you actually care about your ideas, don’t do it on the TL.
